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manfredvijars
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« on: May 07, 2007, 04:55:02 PM » |
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One Night the War Was Over
(c) Manfred Vijars - May 2007
The Paris streets in evening light
Show a soft and gentle sight
music floats upon the night
Worlds away from mayhem
A three day pass reprieve to me
my refuge is a drunken spree
I need to grasp normality
far from trenches bloodied
From within a darkened door
she beckons me - I can't ignore
Her hazel eyes - a common whore
I pay her for her favours
We step inside her barren room
Her gramophone plays "Clare De Lune"
Arm in arm we hum in tune
I stumble while we're dancing
Play for me please, Claire De Lune
I long to hear a gentle tune
I'll be returning all too soon -
tonight, let War be over.
Skin so soft - robe that shields
breasts of silk - her chemise yields.
I'm more used to harsher fields
where softness is a stranger
My awkwardness she takes from me
we hold each other hungrily
and strive to reach our ecstasy
The thrusting quells my anger
Play for me please, Claire De Lune
I long to hear a gentle tune
I'll be returning all too soon -
tonight, let War be over.
I fall asleep within her arms
Resting far away from harm
sweet repose without alarm
Tonight the war is over.
With the dawn we are awake
I can't control this nervous shake
she sees me tremble - feels me quake
She holds me oh, so tender.
Play for me please, Claire De Lune
I want to keep that gentle tune
I’m returning all too soon -
Now tonight is over.
Spilling drink from shaking flask
courage downed put on my mask
Battle is a daunting task -
... tenderness retreating.
Play that song oh, Claire De Lune
Let me hold that gentle tune
I’m returning far too soon -
now my Peace is over.
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« Last Edit: May 07, 2007, 04:57:17 PM by manfredvijars »
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Work hard, play fair and look after your mate and we'll "Waltz with Matilda" some more.
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Bernard de Silva
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« Reply #1 on: May 07, 2007, 10:37:03 PM » |
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G'day Manfred,
a mellow blend of originality, nostalga, reality and futility...a top write.
Might I inquire what prompted this other than Anzac Day?
Well done and most lyrical...
Bernie.
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"IGNORE CORRECTNESS...TELL IT HOW IT IS".
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zondrae
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« Reply #2 on: May 08, 2007, 01:06:38 AM » |
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Manfred,
What a great way to start a Monday and a new week. I was delighted to see you use this rhyming patten. I often wonder if there are any restrictions to length of lines or grouping of the number of lines. Is it really up to the writer to decide what works for a particular poem?
I have also felt the tender way you have expressed the meeting of two desperate souls.
You have done a great job in painting a dreamlike picture of a haven amidst chaos.
Thanks for sharing.
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'A Woman of Words' ...... Zondrae
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manfredvijars
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« Reply #3 on: May 08, 2007, 12:32:21 PM » |
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G'day Bernie, Zondrae ... Bernie .. I think it was the Parisian Cafe at Rue De (something or other), hearing an accordion poignantly playing a melon-trolly tune while I was people perving. Actually it was just ANZAC day after the Dawn Service seeing some folks making their way home after a night out clubbing ... and the mind wandered ...  Thanks Zondrae; war with the world, war with self and respect for a woman's energy. Cheers, Manfred. |
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Work hard, play fair and look after your mate and we'll "Waltz with Matilda" some more.
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James
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« Reply #4 on: May 09, 2007, 01:32:45 PM » |
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Dah de de dah dah da de da da da da da da de de da da de da da da da . ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------James
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manfredvijars
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« Reply #5 on: May 09, 2007, 01:42:38 PM » |
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JAMES!!!! You know the tune?  ?? (I only wrote it last week!) How are you Ol' Mate? M. |
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Work hard, play fair and look after your mate and we'll "Waltz with Matilda" some more.
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James
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« Reply #6 on: May 10, 2007, 07:50:25 AM » |
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therese
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« Reply #7 on: May 11, 2007, 06:54:40 PM » |
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i suppose that would be one of the downsides of having a pass during the war. to get away from the madness, then be thrust back into it again, must have made the horror and futility of it ever so much more vivid. its no wonder so many would go awol.
such a terrible burden, for those who carry the nightmares of it for the rest of their lives. for them and their families.
*...all we are saying ... is give peace a chance! ...*
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Life is a Romantic Adventure of Mystical Proportions
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James
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« Reply #8 on: May 12, 2007, 09:13:25 AM » |
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Hi Terese the line "give peace a chance ''brought to mind a movie made by a Jack Mc Laughlin about a north Americian indian on a reservation, they played that music all the time it would have been in the early 70s . I have never seen it replayed . There was mention of wounded knee in it -----I wonder? ? James |
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Irene
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« Reply #9 on: May 12, 2007, 03:42:54 PM » |
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Another wonderful write, Manfred!!
Like Zondrae, I loved the rhyming pattern - it suited the sentiments of the poem so well.
Catchya
IRene
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Nothing can bring you peace but yourself. (Ralph Waldo Emerson)
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manfredvijars
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« Reply #10 on: May 12, 2007, 06:27:06 PM » |
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... Thanks Therese, James and Irene ....
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Work hard, play fair and look after your mate and we'll "Waltz with Matilda" some more.
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