The Legfoot Mob of MAWA

[The Broomehill-Billy]

G'day again all,
Amidst the various hats on my hat rack, is one that reads 'Masters Athletics Western Australia (MAWA) Race Director - 25 km Road Running Championship'.
That means that yours truly organises the course, helpers, race marshals, etc etc for the big day. (This Sunday 24th of June)
Whilst out on my deadly treadly a couple of weeks ago, marking and measuring the course along riverside paths in preparation, I had an interesting encounter with a bored private security patrolman (for the council) in Maylands.
I don't usually bite my lip on such occasions, but as I represent such a wonderful club, made up of people who get off their bums and have a dinky di crack at life, I expessed my sympathy for his boredom and shut up.
My discipline came about, because I knew a poem of this nature would emerge, and I could share it with you lot. I feel better now
(Mind you, I snuck out and completed the paint job on the weekend - so it might be Guantanamo for me)

Picture this:
The Legfoot Mob of MAWA.

The Legfoot Mob of MAWA planned a run through Lilliput.
They were bold at heart, keen of mind, and very fleet of foot.
They’d run along the riverside, a-celebrating life,
as they do eve’y Sunday, somewhere new, devoid of strife.

The old fogies of MAWA take no chances when they run.
So scouts go out to check the course is safe for ev’ryone.
The mission plan has little arrows showing all the way,
In case some loping, legfoot lass or lad should run astray.

Precautions must be taken to avoid the Ipod gangs,
with plugg-ed ears and block-ead eyes, which easily cause prangs.
So marshals must be mustered there, to manage danger zones,
from leash-less, lurking Labradors, and folks on mobile phones.

And big bold blokes, on bell-less bikes, who zoom up from arrears,
Can spook a tight-knit Legfoot bunch, and trip them on their ears.
Legfutians are responsible and cautious, by and large.
But rile ‘em up and hinder ‘em, can bring an ANZAC charge.

So it was, one took offence, at his interrogation,
when captured by the Sheriff – a tricky situation.
Caught, fluoro green-handed, pioneering ‘May (Not) Lands’,
and painting little arrows for the charging Legfoot bands.

The handsome prince, in recce mode, was marking out the course,
when up plodded the Sheriff of ‘May (Not) Lands’ on his horse.
“Allo, allo, allo, allo, wot you got in your ‘ands?
Do you ‘ave p’mission from the King of ‘May (Not) Lands?”

The prince espoused the virtues of the caring Legfoot mob.
Explaining that if he had doubts, he should ring ‘Uncle Bob’.
“But do you ‘ave p’mission?” was the only line he knew,
as life took on some purpose, with this ‘criminal’ in view.

‘Graffiti Vandal Captured’, read the entry in his book.
‘I never even cast me line –this fish jumped on me ‘ook.’
“But do you ‘ave p’mission?” ran the mantra through his head,
as handsome prince, through ‘May (Not) Lands’, on deadly-treadly, sped.

All is calm in May (Not) Lands, our twenty five kay’s looming,
but eight o’ clock on Sunday morn, you’ll see Legfoots zooming.
The spirit of the MAWA mob, will burst out with the gun.
So come and join the Legfoot Mob of MAWA when we run.

Wayne Pantall  19/6/07      waynepantall@westnet.com.au
www.abc.net.au/greatsouthern/poems.htm      www.bushverse.com/pantall

[Bernard de Silva]

G'day Wayne,
                 Mate, you bloody ratbag recounter, as always you brighten up the day!!

                 Beware, 'the leashless, lurking Labradors', leave steaming, secreted bog!
                   
                                                               Catchya you down the track,
                                                                                              Bernie.

[The Broomehill-Billy]

Cheers Bernie,
The 'Sheriff' stirred a bit of that.
But it warms the hands on a nippy Perth morning.

[tomchap]

G'Day Wayne,

Brought back memories - great work! I used to run 20, 30 ... 50 k runs myself a few years ago.

Of course the sheriff's going to know that the markings were finished, isn't he? So...

If you don't report the results here on Monday
We'll know that the sheriff arrested you Sunday.

Cheers

Tom

[Irene]

Well done, Wayne - I'm impressed at your discipline - and it boded well for some great reading for us!!!   
We will wait with bated breath to see if 'Mr Sheriff' was out on Sunday, waiting to interrogate you again!!! 

My son learnt an expensive lesson about council 'sheriffs' last year (well really, I did, as I paid the fines!!!)
As a first year apprentice, he went to the city for his tafe block at Bentley, which, I believe, has a bit of a reputation for insufficient parking!! Being a P Plater driving in the city for the first time, he duly parked at the car park across the road from the TAFE each day, but obviously without reading the signs first. A couple of days running, he didn't leave for lunch, and there must have been a time limit, or something on the parking. Three days later, he rang me, quite upset and indignant that he had received 3 parking tickets within the space of an hour!!! Later investigation showed that they had been issued 3 days running, but were tucked, obviously quite discreetly, under his passenger windscreen wiper, and he hadn't seen them until the last day when he found all three. (He had had a mate in the car one day, who hadn't seen them either!!)
While no one was disputing that he had obviously parked for too long, I asked the rangers services why, when it was obvious that he hadn't realised he was in the wrong (hopefully, just too busy concentrating on unfamiliar traffic conditions!), they couldn't have moved them to the drivers side so they would be noticed. Their reply was that, yes, they did realise he mustn't have seen them, but it wasn't their policy to put them on the drivers side, as  passing traffic would be a danger to the parking inspector if he went around to that side of the car. Great policy for Occupational Health standards - when it involves roadside parking!!! But in a car park???
Perhaps more to the point that $150 was better in their coffers than just $50!!!

Catchya
Irene

[The Broomehill-Billy]

Thanks Irene,
I reckon if you to tackled that one in verse, you'd open the floodgates and we'd have another genre.
All the insp-irrational elements are there.
What pleasure it would bring to tuck 'em under the inspectors' wipers, (and email them to council).

'Poems of compassion for the inspectors lot' (and tell 'em where to stick 'em).

"... but do you 'ave p'mission?"

Cheers.