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tomchap
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« on: March 18, 2007, 07:37:56 AM » |
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THE LOCAL CRICKET TEAM
Our cricket team mainly was made up of blokes
Who swung a rough bat and enjoyed a few jokes
But real cricketing skills were quite thin on the floor,
Restricted to three or p'rhaps maybe four.
So good play came rarely in few of the matches
And moderate success was in very small patches
We developed some skills, beyond any reproach,
Stuff you don't get from a real cricket coach.
Now one of our blokes could think pretty quick
When he was in bat he would give it some stick
When you were in with him you'd listen and watch
If you got it wrong it would just be a botch.
For he'd hold his hand up and then yell, "Yes let's go!"
Hoping the field then would panic and throw,
And you knew very well that there wasn't a run
But most times it's guaranteed you'd have some fun.
And many's the time when playing like that
We'd get more from the overthrows than off the bat.
There's a truth that is learned in each Aussie backyard
If you're snickin' the ball, well snick it real hard.
I recall a particular occasion one day
When our opening bat had that method of play.
He snicked over slips, boundaries time and again.
The first wicket fell at one hundred and ten,
But the tail that day was a bit long and so
By a hundred and thirty we'd all had a go.
They got past our score with only one out,
Balls sailed to the boundary with many a clout.
It's prob'ly not sporting but when in a fix
Just keep it all legal but try a few tricks.
Our fast bowler now had to rescue our team;
He let fly a ball at the poor batsman's beam,
For he changed what he did in his delivery stride,
If he'd hit him the charge would have been homocide.
Of course he was 'no-balled' the umpire had said
It's illegal to throw a ball at a man's head.
But the whole idea worked, when its all said and done
We got the bloke out for just one more run.
For we didn't use helmets way back in those days
If you copped one of them you'd have eyes all a-glaze
He looked at the bowler, eyes starin' with fright,
The color he'd gone was a terrified white.
The next ball would work and he knew where to stick it;
Just straight on the stumps, and that's one more wicket.
With the slow bowlers on the score mounted real fast,
But we got one more out, that was three down at last.
The new man strode in, took his place at the wicket,
He would now show us how to really play cricket.
Well we got him out on the very first ball.
He looked quite amazed when "Owzat?!!" was the call,
'Cos he'd blocked the first one, picked it up there and then
To toss to the bowler to bowl it again.
But the rules are quite clear, there isn't a doubt,
That handling the ball is definitely out.
Their captain came in next, all fuming with rage,
The things that he said, I won't print on this page.
The bat in his hand was all that he had,
He hadn't had time yet to strap on a pad.
But with slow bowlers on he had nothing to fear,
He'd carve them to bits so his side could all cheer.
He looked round the field to see who was where
And noticed three slips all behind him just there.
And straightaway then he looked back down the track
And saw our fast bowler a-loosening his back.
Now Rex was quite strong and sent thunderbolts down,
And him standing there with no pads, like a clown.
For Rex had been told, "Look, he's got no protection
Just aim at his legs, yeah that's the direction."
Their captain, not willing to chance how he'd fare
Made an instant decision, was time to declare.
Their innings had finished, we weren't far astray,
We'd had a good match in our own sort of way.
For winning to us was not winning as such,
But ensure we weren't beaten by too flamin' much.
Copyright © March 2007 Tom Chapman
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