Of course I love ya darlin’
You’re a bloody top notch bird
And when I say yer gorgeous
I mean every single word
So ya bum is on the big side
I don’t mind a bit of flab
It means that when I’m ready
There’s somethin’ there to grab
So your belly isn’t flat no more
I tell ya, I don’t care
So long as when I cuddle ya
I can get me arms ’round there
No sheila who is your age
Has nice round perky breasts
They just gave into gravity
But I know ya did ya best
I’m tellin’ ya the truth now
I never tell ya lies
I think it’s very sexy
That you’ve got dimples on ya thighs
I swear on me nanna’s grave now
The moment that we met
I thought you was as good
As I was ever gonna get
No matter wot ya look like
I’ll always love ya dear
Now shutup while the footys on
And get me another beer
Anonymous
Editor’s Note: This poem has now been claimed by Steven R Lewis in an email to the site. 8th February 2018.